Choosing the gender of your baby

Many couples, for a variety of reasons, try to take action to influence the gender of their baby. Some wish to have a boy or girl for a particular reason, such as already having a number of children of one sex and wishing for a variety in the family…

There’s a range of both medical and alternative methods that can help you influence the gender of the baby you have…

Why gender may matter

Many couples, for a variety of reasons, try to take action to influence the gender of their baby. Some wish to have a boy or girl for a particular reason, such as already having a number of children of one sex and wishing for a variety in the family. Others wish to control the gender for more serious reasons, such as being aware that they carry a medical condition that can affect one gender more than the other.

Medical methods

It is possible, under medical supervision, to successfully select the gender of the baby that is conceived. This is done by medical intervention, using one of several methods. This is a complicated and expensive process that is only used if a baby of a particular gender would be in dire danger from a genetic disorder passed on by one or both of the parents.

Being aware of the time of ovulation

Most of the more common sex selection methods rely on the woman understanding her ovulation cycle, and being able to predict, to a certain extent, the time that ovulation occurs. There are a variety of ways of doing this, either by purchasing a predictor kit, or by charting the basal body temperature. The theory behind the basal body temperature is that a woman’s temperature will fluctuate around the time of ovulation. It is likely that a change in cervical mucus will also be noticeable at this time; the discharge will be clearer, sometimes like raw egg. By observing both of these changes, along with developing an awareness of the length of the cycle and the way ovulation ‘feels’, women find that they are able to understand the way the cycle works. As every woman’s cycle is different, and can show some variations from month to month it is a good idea to chart the basal body temperature for a few months before beginning to rely on the findings.

Timing the conception

Once an awareness of the ovulation cycle has been established, there are a variety of methods that can be tried. These methods rely on the couple trying to conceive at certain times of the month, depending on the time of ovulation. If a boy is desired, conception should be attempted four to six days before the basal body temperature goes up. It is recommended that couples wishing to have a girl abstain from sex until two or three days before ovulation.

Influence of diet

There is another method of sex selection that suggests that women control the type of food they eat in the time leading up to conception. The theory is based on the idea that there are four mineral salts in the body that can affect the way an egg is fertilised: calcium, magnesium, sodium and potassium. If a girl is desired, calcium and magnesium should be high in the woman’s diet, so milk should be drunk in quite large quantities, and salt and potassium‐rich foods should be avoided. If a boy is desired sodium and potassium should be high, so salty foods should be eaten, and milk, and milk products, should be avoided. Women hoping for a girl should also avoid drinking tea, coffee and alcohol, while those hoping for a boy can enjoy these drinks at will. There are medical reasons for being cautious when starting this type of diet restriction, as, for example, a high‐salt diet could be dangerous to women with a history of high blood pressure. Any kind of dramatic change of diet could also mean that women do not receive all of the vitamins and minerals necessary for themselves or an embryo. These factors need to be taken into consideration before beginning this type of programme. Couples who wish to control the gender of their baby often try one of the first two methods, and combine it with the method that relies on the type of food eaten.

Other traditional suggestions

There are other less structured ways of influencing the gender of a child, many of which really fall into the category of ‘old wives tales’, although some women have found them to be effective.

• If a boy is desired, couples could try making love standing up, sleeping with the woman on the left of her partner, trying to conceive on odd days of the month and making love at night.
• If a girl is desired, couples could try making love in the missionary position, preferably in the afternoon and trying to conceive on even days of the month.
• It is also claimed that benefit may be gained by changing the acidity in the vagina. By douching the area 15 minutes before making love, the gender of the child should, it is suggested, be affected. If a girl is desired, the atmosphere needs to be more acid, so a solution of 1‐2 tablespoons of either lemon juice or vinegar and a pint of water should be used. If a boy is required 5g of bicarbonate of soda should be added to a pint of water to make the area more alkaline.
• While none of these methods have been scientifically proven to affect the gender of child that a couple conceive, the creators of the methods, and a great many people who have tried them believe that they can be effective. They offer to shift the balance of odds in the favour of a particular gender rather than guaranteeing the outcome.