Getting engaged is the most exciting thing in the world – unless you don’t like your engagement ring! More and more couples are choosing an engagement ring together, or picking a commitment ring to propose with, as a way to guarantee the ring is loved by both of you.
If you don’t like your engagement ring, don’t panic – it’s not the end of the world. You won’t be the first person in the world to think ‘I don’t like my engagement ring’, and there are a few things you can do to manage the situation.
What to Do if You Don’t Like Your Engagement Ring
1. Wait a Day or Two
It could just be that the initial shock of it not being what you expected is making you feel negatively about it – not that you actually don’t like it. Give it a few days, keep wearing it, and see if your feelings subside.
Don’t mention your thoughts to your partner yet, but instead ask them questions about the ring. Find out why they chose it – it could have a hugely sentimental meaning to it or a story behind it that will help you fall in love with it.
2. Have a Conversation
If you can’t get past how you feel about it and you feel like you need to say, ‘I hate my engagement ring’, make sure you frame it properly.
Explain that you don’t want to hurt their feelings, and make sure you have a reasonable list of what the issues are. ‘I want a bigger diamond’ isn’t the right way to go about it, but if you explain it’s not your style or that the shape and setting aren’t practical for your day-to-day life (for example!), then it’ll be easier to talk about it.
Be prepared for them to be upset, as it’s likely they will have put lots of thought into the choice of ring, but by planning what you’re going to say and being practical about it, it should be a conversation with an easy resolution.
Be calm and keep it private, and try to avoid strong words like ‘hate’.
3. Consider Your Options
It might be that you love the stone but you don’t like the setting – you could consider having the original stone reset. Or if you want something totally different, how about having the original engagement ring made into another piece of jewellery, like a necklace?
4. Switch Hands
You could suggest wearing the ring on your right hand, if you decide to buy a new engagement ring. That way, you’re not totally rejecting their initial choice of ring and you’re still making it a meaningful part of your daily jewellery. This is a good option if it’s a meaningful family heirloom that can’t simply be exchanged.
5. Alter It
If it is something like a family heirloom, look at how you can customise it to make it more ‘you’. Think how Meghan Markle altered her engagement ring to give it a diamond studded band. You could customise it, or use the existing stones to create a whole new ring.
6. Make the Most of Your Wedding Ring
To avoid having a tricky conversation, you could simply choose a statement wedding ring that doesn’t allow for you to wear your engagement ring too. This is an easy way to avoid saying ‘I don’t like my engagement ring’, but it’s not the right option if you had your heart set on wearing both rings.
Read more: How to pick an unusual engagement ring
7. Think Ahead
If you don’t like your engagement ring, and you don’t want to risk upsetting your partner by saying so, you could always look at the bigger picture. Perhaps in five or ten years’ time you could upgrade your rings as part of a milestone anniversary celebration.
Whatever you decide to do, remember you’re marrying the person, not the ring. Try to focus on that if it feels like a big issue – there’s always a solution.
If you’re still in the planning stages, make sure you download our free printable ring size guide so you make sure you get the right sized engagement ring.