Some things are better left unsaid—things that will make the bride feel awkward, and other things that are downright rude and will show you to have all the tact of an eggplant. Make sure you don’t put a bride, a friend, in the position of telling you to go away, whether on purpose or by accident. Here are 15 things not to say to the bride.
1) “You’re engaged? That was fast.”
Naturally you want to make sure the bride-to-be isn’t rushing into anything. That’s fine, and she may even appreciate your thoughtfulness, but some people say this in less of an “I care about you” way and more of a condescending snarky remark. Paired with *wink-wink* *nudge-nudge* comments about how a secret pregnancy must be the cause of such a fast engagement, you’re just being rude.
2) “Don’t be a bridezilla!”
This name is used way too often, and often for brides who don’t even deserve it. By all means, tell the bride if she gets a little overbearing, but throwing the word “bridezilla” around is the fast-lane to resentment.
3) “I liked (insert name of ex-partner here) more.”
There was a reason her relationship with (insert name here) ended. The bride’s the one marrying her current partner, so it doesn’t really matter who you liked more.
4) “Are you dieting?”
This could be an innocent question born out of curiosity (or necessity if it will inform dress shopping), but if asked in the wrong way the bride will wonder what you’re implying.
5) “Are you sure that dress goes with your figure?”
Of course you’re allowed to give the bride some advice like this, especially if she’s brought you along dress shopping where she wants your opinion. But if she’s already found her dream dress and is completely happy with it, it might be best to leave the matter be. You risk insulting her taste or worse: many brides are body-conscious leading up to their wedding as it is—don’t add to that by being insensitive.
6) “Are you sure you should be wearing white?”
Judgments about the bride’s sex life should never come up, especially when said in such a spiteful way. Please sit down and forever hold your peace.
7) “You look like (insert name here) on her wedding day!”
While some brides will take this as a compliment, you may find that most brides don’t like being compared to other people. She wants to be herself for her wedding.
8) “You spent how much?”
Unless you’re helping to budget the wedding or you’re interested in buying that item/accessory yourself, why does it matter?
9) “No one will notice the details.”
Many brides agonise over every detail of their wedding, and while it would be lovely for all of the guests to notice every little element and fawn over it, that’s not always the point. The point is that the bride wants everything to be perfect—because while not everyone will notice the details, she will.
10) “Why didn’t you invite (insert name here)?”
Don’t put the bride in the awkward position of explaining her guest list choices. It could have been a tricky decision, or there’s history there that’s better left alone.
11) “Can I bring my cousin’s friend’s sister’s boyfriend to the reception, who she only met yesterday?”
12) “I’m not sitting there.”
If you say this when the seating chart is already complete and you’ve had ample time to bring up any issues, don’t expect to have your seat changed. Seating charts can take a lot of time and thought without you coming along and throwing this grenade.
13) “It will be okay on the day.”
If the bride is having doubts and last minute nerves about anything and this is said with love and support—great! But if you say it as a quick brush-off of any concerns, the bride’s stress levels will likely triple.
14) “You know, the divorce rate is huge.”
Don’t summon this black cloud over her happiness, as she wants to believe that her marriage will work. The key is that, while many marriages do end in divorce, there are also many that don’t! Just don’t mention the d-word unless you’re discussing pre-nuptial agreements.
15) “It’s just a piece of paper.”
Technically, yes, a marriage license is a piece of paper. But to many people there’s a much deeper meaning to it, too. Don’t insult the bride by acting like her wedding, the celebration of her love and commitment to her partner (and vice versa), is hollow.
What’s the worst thing that someone has said to you since you got engaged?