It’s a question asked by many brides every single year: how do I ask for cash instead of wedding gifts without offending the guests? Read on for advice on the most tactful ways to ask for a gift of cash as well as some examples of poems to insert into your invitations.
To ask or not to ask for cash?
Most guests attending a wedding or even those who can’t attend but were invited, will still give gifts to the newlyweds, not out of obligation or duty but because they want to. Weddings and civil ceremonies are a milestone in a couple’s life that their friends and family are happy and honoured to share in. The tradition of gift giving reflects this.
Brides and grooms often worry whether to include gift information on invitations; this anxiety is increased when they would prefer to receive cash gifts. The reality is, with more and more couples cohabiting before tying the knot, many of them already have the usual types of products and appliances customary to traditional wedding gifts. So if you and your spouse-to-be have enough kettles, blenders and towels, asking for cash is the natural way to go.
The money will go to…
When asking for guests to part with their cash, you can pretty much guarantee that they’ll want to be told how the couple intend to spend it–not to be nosy, but because it pleases them to know what contribution they are making to the wedded couples’ life. It’s best to include a potential destination for the cash in the invitation. You state that the money will contribute to the honeymoon, items needed for the home, a new car, savings, a new baby et cetera.
If you and your intended are lucky enough to have everything you need and feel as if you have no use for the extra cash, consider arranging for the cash you receive to be given as donations to a charity or cause you support. As with asking for cash for yourselves, be sure to tell guests where the funds will go. Charitable donations as wedding presents is a popular way to share some of your good fortunate with those in need.
Breakthrough Breast Cancer is one of our favourite charitable wedding gift companies.
How to ask for wedding money
In many countries, the accepted way of asking for cash is to write “no boxed gifts” on the invitations. It means exactly that – no gifts that come in boxes. Funnily enough, the UK guests may not be familiar with this phrase, and we’ve heard comments such as, “what, do I take the toaster out of the box then?” When using this phrasing option, be prepared to answer questions about what it means, and maybe even to receive some gifts without boxes!
The specific approach
Alternatively, you could use a wedding gifts company such as Buy Our Honeymoon and Patchwork to elegantly and easily show your guests exactly what you and your intended need as you embark on marital bliss. If you know you want cash to go towards your honeymoon, Buy Our Honeymoon gives you the option for your guests to purchase elements of your honeymoon such as spa treats or entrance to a museum or popular tourist attraction at your destination.
Patchwork is an extremely visual and inspiring way to ask your wedding guests for exactly what you want or to show them how you intend on using the cash they give. Design your patchwork to be a reflection of the things you intend to buy with the cash that you ask for that way it’s clear from the star where the money is going.
The poetic approach
Nothing lightens the mood like a limerick or poem. Whether you’re after something short and sweet or a full stanza, here are some of the most popular phrases couples have used to ask their guests for exactly what they want to receive.
Short and sweet:
- Your presence at our wedding is all that we wish for. However, if you want to give a gift, we will be grateful for a small cash donation towards our new future/house renovations/honeymoon/etc.
- While your attendance alone is what we request, if you wish to buy us a gift then we have a small gift list at______, however monetary contributions towards planning our future together would also be greatly appreciated.
Wedding money poems
One of UK brides’ favourite way of asking for cash is with a poem. Get your creative juices flowing and pen your own poem or use your favourite from the selecting below:
General cash request poems
If you were thinking of giving a gift to help us on our way,
A gift of money in a card would really make our day!
We made a commitment, some time ago,
Together through life, we were destined to go.
To save you looking, shopping and buying,
Here is an idea, we hope you’ll like trying!
Come to our wedding, to wish us both well,
And please make a donation to our wishing well.
Our life together has already begun
And we almost have everything under the sun
So we both thought we would make a suggestion
To save you from all the searching and guessing
Instead of spending lots and lots
Just put some money with your card
And place it into our Moneybox
Large amounts are not anticipated
Any amount would be appreciated
Now that we have saved you all the fuss
We can’t wait for you to celebrate with us!
Now we are to be Mr & Mrs
We don’t need a wedding list of dishes
We have two kettles, two toasters, two microwaves
And we have dreams for which we have to save.
If you would like to give us a gift
A cheque or vouchers would give us a lift
We like to think of it as our ‘Wishing Well’
Which will be filled with your love, we can tell!
We’ve lived together for quite a while,
With all our pots and pans,
And as we don’t need homely gifts,
We have another plan!
We know it’s not traditional,
But it’s easier that’s for sure,
To have no wedding list at all,
Your attendance means much more!
For those of you who do insist,
We have a savings pot,
A small gift to add to this,
Would really mean a lot!
We’ve been together for a few years now;
We have pots and pans and linen and towels;
We have glasses and toasters, really quite a few;
So instead of more gifts, we suggest this to you;
If it doesn’t offend and it won’t send you running;
What we would really appreciate is quite simply money;
We know choosing gifts can be such a pain;
And this way there is no chance of bringing the same!
We don’t want to offend but we have it all,
All household goods and so much more.
To save you shopping, sit back and rest,
A gift of currency is our request.
Don’t go overboard or rob any banks,
Any little thing will make us smile with thanks.
We supply the wishing well,
No wrapping, an envelope who can tell.
Now that we have saved you all the fuss,
We’d love it if you would come and celebrate with us!
We haven’t got a gift list for all of you to see,
because as you all know we never can agree!
But if you’d like to help us start our married life,
cash or high street vouchers, would save a lot of strife!
More than just kisses so far we’ve shared,
Our home has been made with love and care,
Most things we need we’ve already got,
And in our home we can’t fit a lot!
A wishing well we thought would be great,
(But only if you wish to participate),
A gift of money is placed in the well,
Then make a wish …. but shhh don’t tell!
Once we’ve replaced the old with the new,
We can look back and say it was thanks to you!
And in return for your kindness, we’re sure,
That one day soon you will get what you wished for.
So what do you get
For the bride and groom
Whose house needs things
In every room?
When shopping for a present
Please don’t be rash
As there is always the option
To just give cash!
We hope you don’t find
Our request to be funny
But we really would appreciate
A gift of money
Honeymoon gift request poems
We know it’s traditional to write a list
But in this case there is a slight twist
Our home is complete with the usual stuff
And the things that we have are good enough
Our dream is to honeymoon in a foreign land
And walk along the beach hand in hand
We hope you don’t think of us as being rude
And that our request is not misconstrued
But a contribution to our honeymoon pot
Would be appreciated such a lot
But the most important thing to say
Is that you are there to celebrate our day!
We are sending out this invitation
In hope you will join a celebration
But if a gift is your intention
May we take this opportunity to mention
We have already got a kettle and toaster
crockery, dinner mats and matching coasters
So rather than something we’ve already got
We would appreciate money for our honeymoon pot
But most importantly we request
That you come to our wedding as our guest.
You’re invited to our wedding, when we both say ‘I Do’
And as you know we’ve been ‘I do’-ing for at least a year or two!
We’ve been together many years, and have a lovely home,
There’s not that many items we don’t already own.
So if your thoughts were on a gift, your presence will suffice;
But if you really feel the need, donations to a honeymoon would be really nice!
The choice is really up to you and we’d just like to say;
That most of all, we hope you come, enjoy yourselves, and have a lovely day!
We do not have a gifting list
Our house is set with nothing missed
We’d like to go on honeymoon
A place for us as bride and groom
We’re asking for a cash donation
To send us to our dream location
No matter how you feel about asking for gifts, gift-giving is very much a part of every wedding, and guests are grateful to receive instructions on what you wish for the most.
Read more wedding ideas and inspiration in the Wedding Blog.