Hi, just looking for a bit of advice... Basically don't know if I'm overreacting or not, but here it goes... My friend got engaged last year and asked me to be maid of honour, which of course I accepted with no hesitation. I planned the hen, helped her with invitations and even papered her living room wall for her but over the last few weeks due to family issues I haven't been to visit her as much. I also had a text from her fiancé last week to say work friends have organised a surprise hen for this weekend and want me to go. I have explained that me and my partner are planning on taking his daughter to a local theme park as we were unable to do anything for her party that Sat and it was unlikely I would be able to go. He replied saying it was the Fri, to which I said that's not a problem.
Turns out he got the date wrong, the hen is actually on the Sat. I have said I'm not 100% sure I can make it and as a result I have had her fiancé text me saying that I am a rubbish maid of honour and friend and that I'm just making a crap excuse not to go and I'm just obviously too busy to go. Told him that it's been planned for weeks, which it has, and I've just been called a liar and told to remember it's her special day... What would you do? Xx
Kara Louise Gourlay - Speak to the bride after and apologise for not being able to go. I'm sure she'll understand. One of my bridesmaids couldn't make our engagement party.... she explained why and I was fine with it. Like he said, it's HER special day. It's not yours. I get that you want to be part of it but your partner's daughter is also an important part of your life.
Amy Mills - You are not over reacting! You are maid of honour but not wedding skivvy! You have your own life as well, you've been there for everything else, so don't listen! If either the bride and groom spoke to my like that I would be having a very frank conversation with them. Take home message, you are not over reacting, enjoy the theme park! X
Cathy McBrearty - I don't think you are over reacting, as you have already done so much. However, I can understand she may be a little upset that you are not there, especially when she finds you were invited and couldn't go. Maybe write a little "thinking of you" card and put a sweet message in it and ask one of the ladies going to pass it on for you. Stops any arguments, you get your day out guilt free and everyone is a winner xx
Natasha Harmer - Yes, it's her special DAY not her special three days! He's bang out of order, it was his mistake that lead you to saying you could go so it's on him! I would talk to the bride, not the fiance, because frankly it's none of his business and he was probably acting out because he was embarrassed he got the date wrong...so speak to your friend about it before you let her fiances silly behaviour spoil things for you. You're not overreacting at all, it's unfair for him to behave like you can't have a life of your own just because you're her maid of honour, two hen do's is more than most brides have and you can't help that you can't make one of them
Vickie Sharpe - I would have some choice words for him, not suitable for Facebook! What a twat! I wasn't able to make every activity for my friend's hen weekend, due to being able to afford it. As my friend, she completely understood, and enjoyed me being there the bits that I could afford. She will know that you have had that date booked, and you would be upsetting a little girl by cancelling! You've planned a separate hen weekend for her, just focus on that :)
Helena Rawlingson - You're not over reacting! Just because your friend is getting married and has asked you to be maid of honour, it doesn't mean that you have to put your life on hold. I would wait until after the night, apologise to the bride for not being able to make it, and then when you get chance, have a word with her about the grooms attitude towards you. Maybe even show her the texts if you still have them xx
Sonia Parsons - Well this sounds like its a second hen for her? You organise one and then her work friends organised a surprise one? So he shouldn't be annoyed if you are you g on the hen that you have arranged, he sounds like a complete dick and i bet your friend doesn't know he has sent these messages and how harsh he is being to you, I'm sure she will understand you not going, do let it stress/worry you people like that are not worth it. X
Victoria Jack - No your not overreacting. Agree with all the comments above. He has no right to speak to you that way. My maid of honour lives miles away and couldnt make my dress days but I'm still great full for all she does. If she couldn't make my hen yes I'd be gutted but I'd have a day out with her seperate instead.
Lucy Elizabeth - Speak directly to the girls planning the surprise hen. Send a card along from you but make sure they know he's been a right dick about it - I'm sure they'll be mortified and be on your side!!
Suzan Morris - I don't think your over reacting at all and I would go mad if my other half said that to one of my mates for not being able to go even if she was my MOH xx