Hi all! I've had several conversations with my Dad about the wedding and the first thing he ever brings up is that fact that he is not doing a speech. I always reply saying that I really want him to and that he should. But again he always refuses. It's difficult because my Dad is the absolute worst for sarcasm, I think in my life I can count on one hand the amount of times he actually has responded to a question (literally any question) with a serious answer. We are now 4 months to go, and I'm now growing concerned that he really is not planning on making a speech. I've tried to ask and I'm just getting nowhere! He just doesn't seem to realise how special this is to me. I lost my mum about 18 months ago, a few months before I got engaged, and so input from him I feel is extra important now as I know that my mum won't be there. Am I being silly to try to keep explaining to him how special it would be to me, or should I just accept the fact that he's not going to do a speech?
My dad properly bricked it giving the speech at my wedding, I have never seen him so nervous or his voice shake as much. His speech was amazing but was awful seeing him like it. Id rather have not put him through that than have him give a speech to be honest. Good luck and congrats on your upcoming marriage xx
A friend of mines step dad was so nervous about doing a speech and said he wasn't going to do one .... my friend really wanted him to as she had lost her dad years ago so felt something should be said on her dad's behalf. In the end her step dad and brothers made a beautiful video clip where they had pictures of my friend as a kid, growing up, pictures of her dad and they all said kind and funny words about her, it was lovely and had us laughing and crying and meant her step dad felt comfortable as he recorded his bit by himself so didn't feel nervous or anything ..... could you maybe suggest something similar ? Lots of luck x
I think you could explain to your dad about how much you would love his input given that your mother isn't around. But. He has said he doesn't want to do a speech. And while it important to you, it is also important to him not to do one. You could get him to write a short piece and put it on the tables for the wedding breakfast instead?
We decided not to have speeches for that very reason, although my husband did say a few words to thank people for coming, we found out afterwards that my dad had wrote a few words down but couldn't bring himself to read them (we lost my mam a few month earlier). Don't feel you have to go with tradition, do what makes you and your family happy and enjoy your day, good luck xx
Maybe try explaining to him why it's so special to you, but tell him it's a serious conversation at the start so he can't reply with sarcasm? If not maybe write him a card explaining that it would mean a lot to you? If he still says no then I think you're at a loss but it's worth trying. Good Luck :) xx
Many people find public speaking difficult. If you insist on him doing a speech it may ruin the ceremony for him as he could be panicking about it so much. I suggest you ask an uncle or brother to do a speech instead. Your dad could help write it so it would still be his words.
Sorry to jump on your post, but I'm having this very same issue with my groom! He's adamant that he doesn't want to do a speech, he says it will ruin his wedding day worrying about it. I don't want him to feel that way but I really want to stick to tradition! Am I being brattish by expecting him to do one even though he doesn't want to?
My dad isn't doing a speech. I was surprised and a bit disappointed at first but I wouldn't want him worry about it. I have told him not to worry. I'd rather him enjoy the day. Maybe you could suggest he just says thank you for coming and a few words? X
Write him a letter explain what it means to you, then he can't give you an immediate reaction. If he still chooses not too then you can't force him. Speeches are not the end of the world Xx
Hayley Wilkinson New
My dad is quite nervous so he didn't do a speech. I didn't mind that he didn't do one as I'd rather him enjoy the day than be really nervous the whole time thinking of doing a speech. Just because it's the 'norm' doesn't mean it has to be done.
My dad won't be making a speech at my wedding. He doesn't want to and to be honest because of his absence in the rest of my life it didn't occur to me that he would anyway
Your mum not being around might mean it's especially hard for him - he might just be too emotional and being the sort of guy he is, he might not be sure how to say to you he'd just sob all through it! Don't stress - he'll be there to walk you up the aisle and that's special enough :)
My dads not doing a speech. At my 1st wedding he was a bag of nerves so I'd rather not put him through that again. Instead the two best men are doing one each x
If he doesn't want to give a speech then that's his right. Just accept it and move past it if on the day he has one it will be a bonus for you and oh
My Dad was the same, I didn't want to put him in a situation he wasn't comfortable with so I had a friend who has known me for years give a speech on his behalf, x
My dad doesn't want to make a speech. I would never expect someone to do something if it was going to make them feel pressured or awkward.
Why not tell him if he really doesn't want to do a speech then you can ask someone else. I asked my grandad to do mine and it was lovely.