Hi was looking for other people's advice. I get married in 2 months time and I'm starting to feel like no one is interested with it. Has anyone's bridesmaids been very involved and helping out without you having to ask them? I'm starting to get the impression that they aren't too bothered about our big day, I'm starting to feel down every time I ask can you help they both say I'm busy or can't help! Can anyone help please?
To be honest, your special day is YOUR special day. Its for you and your H2B to be excited over. I am sure your bridesmaids have jobs and life and things to think about themselves. I am sure they will be great on the day but its not their day, its yours. You dont need them to jump up and down with excitement, do that with your H2B. Its still 2 months away. They probably wont get excited until the week before, or even a few days. The important thing is they are there for you on the day and I am sure they will be. Just be excited as a couple.
Amy Ni Dhaltuin
How long ago did you book your wedding. Are you a bridezilla? Has it being bridal overload. I was bridesmaid last year for a very special friend who was the most laid back, non demanding bride I have ever known m. We kept in touch through a group chat and were involved but not overly but in her wedding eve / day I was there as much as was needed. Chat to them like adults but don't demand. You asked them for a reason x
Personally I think the wedding plans etc should be down to you and your hubby to be bridesmaids should be involved in the dresses, hen do, bridal party plans etc that kind of thing I think too many brides expect their friends attention 24/7 because they chose them as bridesmaids and in doing so forgetting they do still have busy lives with work, family and problems to deal with of their own etc
I felt a bit like this about 2 months before, but we got married in February and I put it down to people concentrating on Christmas etc. You have to remember that although it's the most important day to you, they still have their own lives to think about. I promise you that on the day, everyone will be there for you, your bridesmaids will do you proud :)
I always think it's really interesting that people comment with "it's your wedding, you plan it don't expect your bridesmaids to help" and generally I think people say that because it's seen as the polite way to behave by not expecting too much from people... I wonder how many of those people if asked to be a maid themselves would say/think to themselves "yes, I'd love to be your bridesmaid but don't expect me to help you on the lead up, or show any interest, I've got my own life to lead" ANYONE would be gutted if their maids and therefore often your closest people didn't ask how things are and let you know they are there if you need them, it's all too easy to say what's politically correct when you ignore the feeling of hurt behind some of these ladies with maids that are unenthusiastic and uninterested and have nobody but their h2b to share things with, who, let's face it, often don't care what centre piece looks prettiest.. Busy or not friends make time and show interest on special occasions, they should be excited for you. I would like to think I would be for any of my friends, maid or not! and I'm sure anyone who posted "they are too busy, it's YOUR wedding" would like to think as a friend they would be too..
It's your day it's up to you to sort it all. I get married in 5 weeks and my sisters (bridesmaids) have been fantastic as in sorting every single part ov my hen doo and are there when I need them for wedding stuff but takes some sorting as we are all busy. Why should they drop everything for you it's your day they can't be there 24/7 just cos your getting married
I'm due to get married next May and this is the exact reason I'm only having my sister as a Bridesmaid. If I had everyone I have ever loved dearly as a friend I know it would be logistically impossible for them to be there for me and help out. We are so geographically spread apart and have many other commitments, work, kids etc it'd just cause more stress trying to organise everyone. I've got my sis and my gay bestie who has already booked a block of a few days off around the wedding and that'll be enough for me. Sorry to hear you aren't having the best time of it.
Every situation is different, i think a lot of brides to be get caught up in self importance and forget to let people know their support/involvement is appreciated and important. I personally thinks it works both ways, if they feel appreciated/important then they will be interested/excited. I done most of it myself but my girls were there any time i did need anything
Carrie Conroy McKechnie
My bridesmaids help when I ask them to and ask how the plans are going and it suits us all fine. We all have different things going on and I don't expect them to drop everything and come running for everything to do with my and my h2b's day. If they aren't interested in the things that involve them, like dress fittings, then fair enough, sit them down and tell them how you feel, but if you're expecting them to help you plan everything, you should make it clear from the start xx
I'm sorry that your bridesmaids are making you feel this way. I get married in 5 months and I think my girls are just as excited as I am so I feel very fortunate! I think bridesmaids are there to be excited with us and be involved, I certainly have been anytime that I've been a BM! Maybe have a little chat with your girls, I'm sure they are all busy with jobs/lives and just don't realise they are coming across as uninterested! I'm sure as your day approaches everyone will be excited with you xx
One of my bridesmaids lives 40 miles away and works 50hours a week and the other works full time and was busy planning her own wedding. It wasn't that they weren't interested they just had very hectic lives. I planned my own hen. As it has been said many times on here no one will be as excited as you about your wedding
Daisy Alice Drew
It's your wedding, not theirs. If you ask them for help and they agree, they're awesome. If you don't ask them and they offer, they're rare! They have their own lives to get on with. Ask and you shall (probably) receive, but don't expect them to get super involved without being asked. They've got other stuff to do! Xx
I felt exactly the same! Don't worry about feeling this way, my husband and I got a bit fed up with it all just before and everyone's lack of interest, because it meant the world to us to have a great day and for everyone to have a great day.
I love a wedding and I'm a natural planner/perfectionist and would sit there and stick diamanté on whatever, however the people around you may just not be like that and prefer to just be told what they have to do and when too do it!
Katie Pettigrew I'm not sure why some people think that bridesmaids are there to help organise your wedding? Hen party- yes, dresses-yes, there hair and make up-yes but everything else is down to you and your h2b
I don't understand what help people need. I've not asked my bridesmaid to do anything for me, nor do I expect her to. It's your day. Deal with things yourself I say.
I sorted it all out myself as my sister is bridesmaid but just had a baby so wouldn't expect her to help and my daughter who is only 10. They got lives of there own 2
Ditch them. If they cannot be bother so why have them as yr support on your day. Bridesmaids are your Support. If they are not supporting you then bye bye
I get married in a month and tbh, my bridesmaids are there if I call but are generally keeping themselves to themselves with regards to the wedding!
It really does depend what you're asking them to help with. To be honest at this stage I'm not sure what you would be asking them to do so it is quite understandable
It's your day, not really sure what you expect them to do.