Lynn with her bridesmaids |

The Modern Bridesmaid’s Guide

There are no hard and fast rules when it comes to the bridesmaid’s role. Most women are honoured to be asked to be a bridesmaid and willing to assist their mate with whatever she may need in the run up to her Big Day. Being a bridesmaid carries with it a certain amount of responsibility, but your best friends will always be willing to be the bride’s right hand woman on one of the most important days of her life!

Lynn with her bridesmaids |
Photo courtesy of Lynn and Mark’s Yellow and Grey Wedding

Here are seven easy ways to be the best bridesmaid:



Be Useful

You’re the bride’s chosen assistants, so offer her a hand when she needs it. In the days leading to the wedding, you may asked to assist in choosing the dress, organising the hen, making favours or writing place cards and seating charts. On the day itself, your assistance may be required for looking after junior bridesmaids or the flower girl or for adding finishing touches and ensuring the day goes off without any hiccups!

Bridesmaid sprays perfume on the bride |
Photo courtesy of Morgan & James’s Tuscan Wedding

Be Inspirational

The bride may come to you asking for help in planning the wedding. It’s easy to get carried away and go overboard with suggestions, so try to tame this. Instead, opt for being inspirational: share possibilities of things she could go for; not demands. An easy way to do this is to encourage the bride to create a secret group Pinterest board for all of the bridesmaids. This way you could all share ideas in one easy-to-manage place.

Bridesmaids prepared for British weather |
Photo courtesy of Rachael and Mark’s Wedding

Be Honest

Chances are, you’ll never see your friend more indecisive than she’ll be when choosing things for her wedding. When she asks your opinion, it’s because she wants it, not what you think she wants to hear. Choose your words carefully and be honest. If you love something, say it! If you hate it, be tactful, but say it, too!

Be Available

Wedding planning can happen quickly in just a few months or it can drag out for years. No matter how long your mate takes, she’ll want your help at some stage along the way. While you may not be able to accommodate every request, do try your best to be available when you’re needed the most.

Be Supportive

She’s chosen you to be one of her bridesmaids. That means she knows you and trusts you; you two have a deep bond. Rely on your instincts and this bond to be a support system for her. You should be able to identify when she’s stressed or needs to take a break from the wedding planning. Be on hand to support her and to pull the plug on the wedding planning and get her to let her hair down every now and then!

Bridesmaids help the bride with her dress |
Photo courtesy of Debora and James’s Portuguese Wedding

Be Observant

On her wedding day, she’ll be in a million photos. Chances are, the photographer will have her pose in places that might not be the most forgiving to a pristine white gown. Be on hand to notice any dirt on her dress, any lettuce in her teeth or any mussed hair or smudged makeup. One of your goals is to make sure she’s always looking her best!

Be Non-Judgemental

Over the course of the engagement and in the run up to the wedding, all manner of situations may arise and the bride may choose to handle them in a way you wouldn’t. Remember, the wedding is ultimately about the bride and her partner and it is their prerogative to do what they look. Don’t turn up your nose; if you disagree, do so with grace; don’t be judgy!

Chief bridesmaids gets emotional during wedding speech |
Photo courtesy of Hayley and Mark’s Algarve Wedding

Be Flexible

Remember who’s day it is. Your vision may not be what the bride wants, but as she’s the one getting married, her opinion trumps all the rest. If she asks you to wear a colour you wouldn’t ordinarily choose for yourself; try to do it with a smile on your face. Be as flexible as you can, but if something really is a no-go for you, share this openly and honestly with the bride in the right setting, with the right tone. The two of you are best of friends and there should be no obstacle you can’t overcome together.

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