Your best mate has asked you to be the best man at his wedding, and while you’re certainly flattered, secretly you wish he’d picked someone else. The pressures of speech writing, ring guarding and whatever other things best men are supposed to do can make even the most confident feller cringe. But fear not, because we’ve put together this ultimate best man guide to fill you in on everything you need to know about your very important job.
The best man’s official duties
- Be Involved in the Planning
You’re going to be just as important in the run up to the wedding as you will on the big day, so be close to your bro for support. Go with him to check out luxury wedding venues if he’d like you to, and help him manage his budget if he needs you to.
- Go to the Pre-Parties
Be there at all the ‘do’s’ leading up to the big day, from the engagement party to the rehearsal and everything in between.
- Sort the Stag Do
Traditionally, the best man organises a last blast for the groom and close mates, but it doesn’t always have to be a surprise. Surprise stag parties involve a lot more planning and liaising with the bride-to-be, and sometimes it’s just easier to ask the groom what he would like to do.
- Bear the Rings
There’s no pressure involved. Just stuff the rings into your pocket and don’t lose them! When you are asked, hand them over at the appropriate point in the ceremony.
- Give the Speech
It’s very easy to get all hung up on the best man’s speech and how to make it funny and entertaining. Remember, this is meant to be a toast, not a roast, so keep it clean. Extra brownie points for not bringing up the subject of ex girlfriends or ridiculous parties the two of you’ve had.
- Mind the Ushers
The ushers are the guys who tell everyone what to do and where to sit, particularly at the ceremony itself. Make sure they’re on the ball, and if one gets a bit too drunk and incompetent, politely relieve them of their duties.
- Get the Happy Couple out of There
Have your exit strategy for the newlyweds sewn up from the start. Help with their luggage, organise transport and tie up any business with the reception venue on their behalf once they’ve left.
While being a best man is certainly no walk in the park, it’s not out of your reach to get it done, and done rather well. Our best advice to you? Don’t get too drunk. You need to be on top of your game all day long, and when the end of the evening comes and everyone is plastered, you may needed to swoop in and save the day. Above all, enjoy your role. You’re the most important guy in the world to the chap who has asked you to be best man, so be the best you can be for him and revel in the responsibility of the day.
This article has been written by Liz Ballinger, wedding coordinator at The Bishopstrow Hotel & Spa.