Second time around

October 2006 ‐ Second time around

OK, so it didn’t work out the first time, but love is all around and this time it’s for real, right?

With one in four weddings being for second timers, re‐marrying means having the wedding that you – not your Mum‐ dreamed of. Age brings wisdom and experience, and a second wedding can be the day of your dreams if you keep a few vital points in mind.

Whether widowed or divorced, no matter how happy people are for you, it is likely that your wedding will bring mixed emotions to some. This needs careful handling.

Firstly – your ex. Even if you are on unfriendly terms, it is always best to tell an ex partner directly, especially if there are children involved . Can’t face telling them face to face? Write a letter. If you want to invite them, make sure you inform guests beforehand so no one feels uncomfortable.

The in‐laws – oh‐oh, this can be tricky. Grandparents can worry that your re‐marriage will deprive them of a relationship – be clear and simple, re‐assure them that they are and will remain an important part of your children’s lives. If you invite them to the service, don’t be upset if they refuse – they may wish you happiness but still find it painful to see you move on.

Children – oh, dear. Again, sensitivity is required. Make it clear that this is your day but at the same time include them in some of the decisions so that they feel a real part of it.

Dress sense –there is no reason why you should not dress however you please – if you want to wear white, do so , but remember that your figure will have changed and that frou frou meringue may not be the most forgiving option !

Your partner – this may be the second wedding for you , and the first for him, or vice versa . You may have missed out on a white wedding the first time, whereas he may have done it all before and want a simple ceremony.

As with any wedding, remember that the art of compromise is important to the marriage as a whole – communicate openly beforehand and reach your decisions based on mutual trust and understanding and you will have a happy and memorable day and form the basis for a strong future together.