bridesmaid asked to buy own dress

Bridesmaid’s Refusal to Buy Her Own Bridesmaid Dress Divides Opinion

It’s always interesting when someone posts a wedding-related question in the famous ‘Am I Being Unreasonable?’ forum on Mumsnet.

You get to hear of unbelievable brides, demanding mother-in-laws and difficult bridesmaids, all the while deciding whether the poster is actually being unreasonable or not.


Read more: How to handle a bad bridesmaid

bridesmaid asked to buy own dress

A bridesmaid posting under the name ‘Bridezilla1’ has definitely divided opinion on the well-known parenting platform. She asked the following question (sic):

“I am to be one of 5 bridesmaids for my friends wedding summer 2019.

“I am the only one of the 5 who has young children, I am also a single parent with very little money.

“Already the “honour” of being her bridesmaid is being very costly. There has been a few dinners to talk over her wedding plans, of which I have had to pay babysitters. The dinners have been of the brides choosing and expensive restaurants with bottles of wine etc. 

“There is a hen do before the wedding that I cannot make as it is a long weekend away (not possible for me) and the bride was quite unfair about it saying she was upset that not all of her bridesmaids would come.

“We went to the bridesmaid dress fittings and selected our sizes from the pre selected dresses of her choice. the dresses were £250. Yesterday the bride messaged saying she was going to order them so can we all transfer the cash by the end of the day. I don’t have that kind of money and I am just really shocked, surely if we were paying for our own it should be a dress of our own choice. I would never spend £250 on an item of clothing especially one that I will never wear again but what choice do I really have now? All the other bridesmaids have responded that they have transferred (it’s a group Facebook chat) I have no idea what to say!”

The responses were divided – ‘Alfie190’ chipped in with: “It is normal to pay for your own bridesmaid dress. You maybe needed to say you wouldn’t be able to do it because of cost.”

Whereas ‘Justmuddlingalong’ had a strong view: “”I quit” should do it.”

Two users both advised that this should have been ‘discussed ages ago’, whilst others suggested the poster back out of being a bridesmaid and risk the fall out that would come with it.

So far the controversial thread has racked up over 800 responses and is still ongoing. So what do you think? Who should pay for the bridesmaid dress? Is it one of the bridesmaid duties or does it fall to the bride?

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