There’s something about weddings – we don’t know what it is – but from the moment you say ‘We’re engaged!’, everyone you’ve ever met (and even a few you haven’t) will line up to give you their opinions.
We’ve rounded up 23 things you should NEVER say to the bride – feel free to share this on your Facebook page if you know a few people who need to take a hint!
Ready to start wedding planning? We’ve got an 11 step guide to how to plan a wedding for you.
‘I can’t believe you’re engaged!’
Really, Hilary? Why?! What is it about me that makes it so hard to believe that someone would want to put a ring on this? No, go on, tell me, I’m all ears.
‘You’re changing/not changing your last name?!’
You know how you said ‘your last name’? Yep, that’s right, it’s MY last name so it’s entirely up to me what I do with it.
Read our guide to changing your name after marriage here.
‘What took them so long to propose?’
You might have actually been thinking this yourself, but that doesn’t give Barbara from accounts the right to ask you that. The best response is to say airily ‘Oh, they’ve asked loads of times. I just don’t like to rush, you know?’
‘Are you worried about cold feet?’
Are you worried about being punched? No, it’s never occurred to me that they person I love and am going to marry would want to back out, so please don’t let it occur to you either.
‘How will you afford it?’
‘How is that any of your business?’ is the only way to reply to that one.
Read more: How to plan your wedding budget
‘I think weddings are just so overpriced…’
Well, we’re paying for an epic celebration of our love, surrounded by all the people we love best in the world, so really any money for that is a small price to pay. And if that’s what you think, don’t have a wedding yourself then.
‘It’s costing me quite a lot to attend, you know’
Erm, is it? Okay, so sometimes accommodation is a factor, but we’re happy if you just show up – you don’t need to bring a gift or wear a fancy new outfit, and we’re paying for a lot of your drinks and your dinner so…maybe share your concerns with someone else. Not me.
Read up on wedding guest etiquette here.
‘You’re on a diet then?’
Just because there’s a ring on your finger, it doesn’t mean you have to give up your love affair with ring doughnuts. Life is short and your partner wants to marry you. If you don’t want to lose weight, you don’t have to!
‘I hope I like the food’
Well, I hope you do too, considering what it’s costing per head, but if you don’t, I don’t want to hear about it.
‘I don’t eat/drink/like that’
You’re catering for 100 people. Not everyone is going to like everything. But Uncle John on your mum’s side – who you didn’t even want to invite anyway – thinks you’ll change the whole menu because he doesn’t like salmon. THINK AGAIN, UNCLE JOHN.
We’ve got the most unusual wedding catering ideas, if you want to stress Uncle John out more.
‘Why did you choose to get married there?’
Ergh, because it’s far away from you, Sandra. Unfortunately, you can’t say that, so you just have to smile and explain for the billionth time that it’s your wedding and you like it.
‘Make sure you invite me!’
This is especially annoying when it’s from the finance assistant you’ve spoken to maybe twice in your whole life. Anyone who says this is automatically struck off the guest list. Even if it’s your own sister. Be better!
‘Can I bring my partner/child/mum/pet?’
Sorry, can you just look at your invitation again? Do you see where it has the names on it? That’s who is invited. If their name’s not down, they’re not coming in.
‘Don’t you go all bridezilla on us!’
Funnily enough, this usually follows on from one of the other statements and is prompted by that subtle but still noticeable twitching under your left eye. You’re planning a massive event and everyone is saying stupid things to you. It’s not being bridezilla, it’s just being a little bit stressed.
‘I wouldn’t have done that’
Well, Gareth, when you find someone who will agree to marry you, you don’t have to do it, do you?
‘How much are you spending?’
The best way to reply to this one is to clap back with an equally inappropriate question, like ‘How much do you earn?’
Our top wedding budget tips will help you keep on top of your spending – but you still don’t need to tell anyone else about it!
‘Babies next, then?’
Why do people never, ever learn that it’s not okay to ask a couple when they are going to have babies? Just have a bit of basic common sense.
‘How did you get them to propose?’
This is the rudest! Because I’m a total 10 and who wouldn’t want to spend the rest of their lives with me?!
If you think they’re asking because they’re keen to get proposed to, make sure you share our favourite wedding proposal ideas with them.
‘You look tired’
You look rude and insensitive.
‘Just so you know, I don’t want to sit by X’
It’s not like you’ve just spent all evening surrounded by post-it notes as you’ve tried to plan a table plan that negotiates messy divorces, tricky family feuds and those one-night stands in your friendship group that no one speaks of. You’ll sit where you’re sat, pal.
We’ve got a guide to seating tricky wedding guests here, if you need some extra help.
‘I always hoped you’d marry (insert ex’s name here)’
Well, I’m sorry. You’ll have to keep on hoping, won’t you?
‘Will you be wearing white, then?’
Wearing white does not mean what it used to mean. We all know that and we’re all fine with that. Get with the times, Great Aunt Mildred.
You can browse lots of beautiful pink wedding dresses here if you don’t fancy white!
‘It’s just a piece of paper!’
Funny how those who love to say this don’t seem to have that piece of paper themselves. Yes, a marriage certificate is just a piece of paper, but a marriage is so much more than that. If you don’t feel that way, don’t get your piece of paper.
If the stress is all getting a bit too much, browse our edit of the best UK mini moon destinations and plan a romantic getaway – it’ll have you feeling so much better!