Wedding speech material for you to adapt, for when the groom is a real catch
By the father of the bride
‘I just wanted to say a few words about how proud I am of my new son‐in‐law Jake. During the course of his and Julia’s engagement, I’ve come to realise that he’s a dedicated and diligent man, who’s prepared to work hard to achieve his goals. His efforts have now paid off as he’s won the ultimate accolade, my daughter.’
‘When Andrea said she’d met the man she wanted to marry, I was extremely curious to know what he did. Then she said he was “self‐employed”, and my heart sank as I envisioned a layabout whose afternoons were divided between the bookies and the pub. Of course it turns out that Dominic actually runs his own successful business, and if he works as hard at his marriage as he does at his job, I’ll see you all at their silver wedding anniversary…’
By the best man
‘When Matt and I were at school, he was always going places ‐ the moon was a favourite, to the top of the class was another, and who could forget his plan to dance onstage with Michael Jackson? He’s certainly never lacked ambition, which is why I knew that once he’d set his sights on Kimberley, he wouldn’t rest until she was his.’
‘I remember when James told me he was going to build his own home. Typical, I thought, he couldn’t find the house he wanted on the market, so he decided to make his own from scratch. That’s the thing about James, he’s always been a bit of a go‐getter. Sadly, it’s rarely to the bar to buy anyone a drink.’
‘As many of you know, Jack and I were at university together. We even read the same subject. Sadly, that’s where the similarity ends. He’s going places. I’m not. So Sasha, count yourself lucky you ended up being chatted up by him and not me at that fateful first meeting. Otherwise you could have been heading for Clacton, not the Caribbean for your honeymoon.’
‘Since he first met Rochelle, David has really started to go places. It was “to hell” when he first asked her out, “on your bike” when he tried to coax her into the bedroom, to the hairdressers when he first met her parents ‐ and of course, when he proposed… to the most expensive jewellers in town.’
‘There’s only been one occasion in the history of my friendship with Henry when his self‐confidence has taken a dive. During a game of conkers, a particularly energetic swing from me accidentally took his two front teeth out. Poor old Henry was beside himself, thinking that people would forever more be shouting “Mind the gap!” and laughing in his face. Ultimately I managed to convince him that he could still lead a normal life despite his oral impediment, and he picked himself up, dusted himself off and soon reverted to the precocious little so‐and‐so we all know and love. Little did I realise then just how well Henry would bounce back, managing to get his teeth into someone as ravishing as Lucinda.’
‘When Bob and I were little, I lost count of the number of times a grown‐up remarked, “He’s going places, that Robert.” Secretly jealous, I used to laugh to myself that the only place Robert was likely to go was jail. But adolescent rivalry aside, I can see that the adults were right (as always) as Bob has indeed done very well for himself. There’s the fantastic job, his unique physique, his world‐beating collection of beer mats, and now of course, his perfect wife.’
‘Helen says that what attracted her to Max was that he really is “going places”. Max has assured me that Helen is welcome to accompany him to Heaven tonight.’
By the bride
‘When Dave and I first started going out with each other, I was attracted by his ambition, drive and dynamism. I fancied him because he knew what he wanted, and he wasn’t afraid to go for it ‐ which probably explains why he’s been so successful in his career. When he proposed to me, I realised that without those qualities our marriage would still be as strong, and I’d love him just as much. Today I swore to the fact that I’d love and respect him whether he’s at the top of his tree ‐ or completely out of it.’
By the chief bridesmaid
‘When Charlotte told me that she’d agreed to marry Will, I have to admit to feeling an overwhelming sense of loss. Who was going to sit drinking white wine with me, lamenting the lack of decent men in the world? My despair didn’t last too long though, when I realised what a catch Will is. He’s great‐looking, brilliantly funny and has a promising career that’ll help keep Charlotte in the manner to which she’d like to become accustomed. In fact it’s more than fair to say that our groom is really going places. OK, that’s enough sucking up from me. Will: when are you going to introduce me to one of your friends from work?’