Wedding speech material for you to adapt, for when you want to impart some words of wisdom about your own honeymoon experience
By the father of the bride
‘Before I left for my own honeymoon, my father gave me two pieces of advice. Number one, don’t forget to take protection with you, and number two, make sure your underwear befits the occasion. How right he was: both the umbrella and the thermal vest came in very handy during our week in Bognor.’
By the groom
‘When I was trying to decide where to take Karen for our honeymoon, I asked my father in law for some advice. He said to me: ‘Why not take her somewhere hot and steamy she’s never been before?’ I decided to take heed of his wisdom and am pleased to announce that we are honeymooning in the kitchen.’
By the best man
‘I remember Dave taking me aside just before I left for my honeymoon and advising me to eat lots of bananas for their high‐energy content. Well you should have no trouble scoring tropical fruit where you’re going, but just in case (hands paper to groom) here’s the phone number for the local Viagra dealer where you’re staying.