Speech material: She wears the trousers

Wedding speech material for you to adapt, for when the bride is a bit of a madam

By the father of the bride
‘It will come as no surprise to you, Adam, that Carina was nicknamed “Miss Bossy Boots” at school. Looking back, I suppose she was displaying her leadership abilities even then. She certainly led my wife and I up the garden path many a time!’


‘Jo was always strong‐willed. Even as a child, if there was something she wanted, she didn’t stop until she got it. So, Nigel, I guess you didn’t stand a chance. But then again, where would Nigel be without someone to run his life for him?’

‘Tomboy she was, lady she now is. But don’t be fooled by that beautiful smile. Sara is a formidable opponent. Woe betide anyone who disagrees with her. Ladies and Gentleman, I’m afraid you’ll have to forgive me for the following gap in my speech ‐ Sara edited the next bit out and I’m under strict instructions not to mention… err, sorry, that’s been crossed out too.’

By the groom

‘My wife wears the trousers. Beautifully. And as you can see, she looks great in a dress too.’

‘Because Anita has such a successful career, people assume that she wears the trousers in our household. Actually I do ‐ she just makes sure they’re Armani.’

‘I should have realised the first time I met Karen what I was letting myself in for. Not only did she insist she bought the drinks, she drove me home, told me I was to phone her, told me when to phone her, then gave me a full account of what she expected me to say when I did phone her. Well, I’ve always enjoyed a bit of domination!’

‘I used to be disorganised. Those of you who visited my student digs will know just how disorganised. Who can forget the smell of wet socks drying in the grill? I’m pleased to say all that changed the day Tracey moved in. She might wear the trousers, but at least I always get to wear clean, dry socks.’

‘Some people call my wife “bossy”. I call her “ma’am”. No, seriously ‐ I call her strong and independent, and am honoured to have her as my companion.’

By the best man

‘We all know she’s a, ahem, strong character, but boy are we pleased Jess has taken John in hand. Let’s face it, John, it’s a brave woman who can solve your wardrobe dilemmas. Even the moths wouldn’t touch your suits in the old days. But look at you now. Okay, you’ve spilt the soup down your shirt and your flies are undone (only kidding), but I almost fancy you myself these days.’

By the chief bridesmaid

‘I first met Clare when we both joined Brownies at the age of six and I can honestly say she is the bossiest person I’ve ever had the pleasure of knowing. How many girls aged six would insist they knew better than Brown Owl how to light a fire? She proved it later of course when she managed to set fire to the chemistry labs.’

‘Who else could the school have chosen to be head girl? Frankly Jane was acting head girl from the moment she arrived. The teachers didn’t stand a chance ‐ they couldn’t get a word in edgeways. I must say I think Harry is coping remarkably well. YOU CAN TAKE THE EARPLUGS OUT NOW, HARRY.’

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